And you know, you just know that next time you go under you will neither fight nor panic, nor will you be broken. You will be still, as still as the earth herself. You will be strong. You will look that monster right in the eye and you will say, “I fear nothing.”
You know where you have to get off because you have been there before, but not at night, and that cold realisation brings up a wave of panic like a sick sort of electricity. Because as you train your focus from the rain back to reality, you recognise nothing.
You keep sinking deeper and deeper into yourself. Finding new levels and fresh wounds. You wonder if this is it, forever. Can the bliss keep on expanding? Will it always hurt? And you feel scared because you are scared to
Autumn winds play with skeletal leaves. They skitter about your feet like discarded paper- like stillborn poetry. Your eyes are caught by a bright patch of moss and you struggle to keep it in focus. Your thoughts pile up like carcasses, and everything is dying. Everything is dying.
Dark sister I Am. Weird sister. Ancient sister, Holy One. I make art of spells, weave dreams into words and I live between worlds where the silence is found in the stillness, where light seeps through cracks in reality.