The dawn breaks slowly after the soul’s dark night.
I know it feels like you will never see the sun. I know what it is to be stranded in your own shadow, bones shaking, face slick with tears, struggling to breathe. Too tired to fight, too scared to sleep. I know what it is to be all alone in the dark, no stars to guide you, nobody to hold you. I know what it is to scream silently. To stand at the edge of the abyss, whipped by a heartless wind, willing yourself to have the courage to jump because surely anything would be better than this endless night.
I know how it feels when you hate yourself, when you blame yourself, when you are so full with shame there is no room for compassion in you. To feel the thick, dark toxic mess of someone else’s perversion coursing through you. A perversion you wanted no part of, a perversion forced upon you when you were new and fresh and innocent. I know. I know what it is to feel that no matter how hard you try you will never be clean. To feel you will never be whole, never love or be loved or find peace. I know how it is to feel unsafe in this world. To feel unsafe in your own body. I know how it feels when your soul shatters to a million shards, and you can’t see how you’ll ever put it together again. When your mind is twisted in ways you’re not aware of by someone else’s sickness.
I know it feels as if the dawn will never come. But I promise you, it will. You will bring it yourself. The sun will rise as you rise. You will see that the further you fall, the higher you can fly. I know this, because I know what it is to rise. I know what it is to release. I know what it is to wrap yourself tightly in your own love. To feel the light rush in to those empty spaces inside, to come home to yourself, to let go of painful stories and write new ones. I know how it feels to stand proud in your own power, in your love. To shine, ever brighter. To become who you Are. I know what it is to transform, to take dark matter and transmute it to gold. To be filled with so much love, all the suffering finally reveals itself to be nothing more than a catalyst for your growth. I know what it is to return to that innocent child, take her hand and tell her about all the wonder she is.
This is your magic- you turn pain to power, fear to love, suffering to beauty. The contrast between those depths and these heights, it is exquisite. You are a work of art, a kaleidoscope of colour and emotion, and you create yourself in your own image.
You bring the dawn. It breaks slowly after the soul’s dark night. It begins in your heart with a ray of light, almost imperceptible at first. As you continue to breathe into it, as you continue to release- the inky skies will fade slowly to a pale blue, become streaked in gorgeous shades of pink and orange. You are the sun. Breathe and release. As your heart opens, you create space for more light, until you are full with it, until it is bursting from you. An unmistakable warmth spreads throughout your veins, cleanses you of dark matter. You are becoming. Nothing can stop you from becoming, if you will allow it.
You are a warrior.
You are beautiful. You are free. You belong here. You deserve to feel safe. You deserve to feel peace, to be full with light and to be love, and to be loved. You deserve to feel the ecstasy of release and that exquisite contrast. You can bring the dawn, and you will. And when you do, you will know why you came here. You will know your truth. You will remember your purpose. You will become incandescent, because you know what it is to be lost in the dark.
Rise and Shine.