Grieving is not a passive process. It is an activity. A choice.

You must dive into it, my love. You must feel it with a fullness. That dull sick aching in your stomach; your heart throbbing with bitter memories. The empty devastation of your soul.

You want to turn away, to bury your head in the sand. You want to numb the pain, to fight it somehow but you can’t. You must gather your strength. You must look that grief in the eye and say, “I am ready for you.”

Because you are. You Are, love. You are strong, like the trees, and like the trees you sway with the wind but rarely break. And when you do break, you send new shoots to the sun. You reach for the light, over and over. And that is real strength.

This life, it can make your heart cold. But somehow yours stayed warm, stayed open- and every time it breaks it opens just a little more. And every time it breaks, you learn a little more, about what is really good and what is pure in this world. A little more, about your own goodness, your own purity.

Every time your heart breaks, every time you break, you learn something about yourself; about your resilience. You carve pathways into the interior. You venture deeper into you. And that is where treasure is found.

So you take a deep breath and dive into your grief. Allow yourself to be cleansed by it. Reach for that silent, still space at the eye of the storm. Observe your longing, your terror, your despair. Invite them to transform you.

It is the only way.

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art of trauma
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