trauma,  writings

Floating

You cannot talk your way out of trauma.

You cannot fix a broken brain with a broken brain. In fact there is nothing to fix. You are not broken or incomplete. You are perfect, you are whole. You have only to release your burdens. You can achieve in an hour of focused release what you will achieve in ten years of talking in circles. This I promise you. This, I know.

I promise you that learning to let go is the most precious gift you can give to yourself. You deserve that gift. You did not come here to be unhappy, to be full of pain. As you release, you make space; and into that space floods light. And in that bright light you will see yourself as you truly are- in your divinity, in your completeness. Bathed in bright light, you reclaim your power. In light you can meet yourself, you can know your essential nature. Unfettered. Unburdened. As Is. And in that light, you will Know.

It is from that pure light we come and to it we shall return. It waits patiently to show you yourself, but as long as you carry your darkness with you- as long as you identify with your sorrows, you are full only with sorrow. There is no space for light in you, no space for love, and you will not feel yourself worthy to give or receive love until you see yourself in your divinity.

Sweet one, you are not broken. You were never incomplete. You are not in need of repair. I know you, I see you, child of the stars. You are here for a reason. You have a purpose. Would it not feel so good to let go? Would it not feel good to breathe, to release, to allow; instead of holding on so tightly? Why try to control chaos? You control nothing in this world, nothing except your own self. When you claim that power, when you take control of your self, when you learn to let go of needing to control the external, when you stop defining yourself in such narrow terms- it is only then you are free.

Can you imagine what it might be to feel the shackles of your expectations fall to the ground? What it might be to let go of all that weight and become who you really are?

Why do you drag these dark thoughts around? Why carry painful memories and bitter feelings? Why do you unpack them just to look at them, make the same tired observations then pack them back up and carry them with you? Are they not heavy? Are you not tired? Once they have served their purpose, once you have learnt the lesson, relax your grip. Breathe deeply into your centre, allow yourself to float downstream instead of fighting the current.

I know you are afraid. Why wouldn’t you be? You have built your identity around these things. You cannot remember who you were without them. You use them to validate your fears, to separate yourself from others, to justify your actions. Who would you be if you let go? Would you not disappear? I tell you now, I promise you, because I walk this path and I, too, was afraid. This I promise: the you that exists quietly beneath the trauma, behind the elaborate masks you wear, will never disappear. It cannot be so, for that you is eternal, unchanging, perfect. That you is beautiful, unburdened, wild and free in ways you cannot yet imagine. When you let go of who you think you are, you are free to become who you really are. Free to create yourself and your reality. It will take a lot of courage, but I know you have that. I see you in all your perfection.

So let go. Start with small things, petty annoyances. There is time- there is an eternity. Choose one thing which burdens you now. Say you are anxious about an upcoming test. This anxiety weighs you down and feeds on your energy. You live in the future, worrying, trying to control every variable. You might be studying hard, but most of your power is transfixed on the possibility of failure, and So it Is that you do not give yourself fully to the task. You are not present. You do not sleep well enough to rest your brain. You do not feed your body well. And So it Is that you increase the possibility of failure tenfold. You draw that possibility towards you. You create that reality by feeding it with your thoughts and your energy.

What if you were to let go of the outcome? What if you would relax your grip? what would that feel like? What if you were to float downstream? Trust yourself, give yourself fully to your studies, take your rest, immerse yourself in the present moment, take proper care of your body? Would that not increase your chances of success tenfold? Would that not bring you so much closer to creating the reality you desire? It might seem impossible at first, but in fact it is much easier to float downstream than to fight the current. There is nothing difficult in letting go. Breathe deeply and release. Breathe and release, over and over, until you find your centre. Until you stand in your power.

When you find you are holding on tightly, do not see it as a problem. It is an opportunity to feel the joy of releasing. And it is joyful, to be free. To go home to yourself. As you practise with smaller things, you will find the heavy things, the dark and the traumatic things easier to release. As your grip loosens on the small things it becomes more and more difficult to hold on to anything at all. You will find yourself becoming lighter and lighter, you will begin to shine brighter and brighter. You will be radiant in your power, you will see, you will know, you will remember how to bend your reality. Your true self waits patiently for you, underneath and behind all the baggage. This I promise you. This I know.

So breathe deeply, and release. That is all there is to do. How wonderful is that?

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