You keep sinking deeper and deeper into yourself. Finding new levels and fresh wounds. You wonder if this is it, forever. Can the bliss keep on expanding? Will it always hurt?
And you feel scared because you are scared to be happy, as much as you are scared to be hurt.
You keep shaking, and hurting. Crying and healing. You keep touching something absolutely magnificent. Something terrifying.
You keep shrinking back into yourself.
But then you touch it again, that magnificence. You stand in that place and you sink a bit deeper, all at once. Sink deeper, release more. Return to yourself.
It is like breathing. Sink into your breath. Sink into safety like a warm salt bath. Oil and the scent of lavender. rosemary, thyme. Allow yourself to relax into that safety. Because it is okay- it really, really is. And I will keep telling you that, every way I can think of to put it, until you understand.
You can take off the armour now. You give yourself permission to do that.