Those of us who had a traumatic childhood or who have been in abusive relationships in adulthood often experience trauma bonding- forming strong emotional attachments to abusive partners. These trauma bonds can be extraordinarily strong and pervasive, and hard for the neurotypical person to understand. “Why does she keep going back to him if he beats her?” they wonder. “Why does he take her back every time she cheats on him?”. Or “why are those two even together when they clearly hate each other?”.
Here are five more ways that have helped me to heal trauma and find my way to inner peace.
A lot of people will tell you to just “get over it” or remind you it is in the past, but those of us who have been through it understand that trauma remains in the mind, body and soul no matter how long ago it happened.
Thankfully, there are many ways to heal yourself from trauma, and I want to share with you some of the best I have found in my own journey to wholeness.
Some days I forget myself, and I stumble. I wake from nightmares sweat-soaked, shaking, crying. Some days I am blind with melancholy. I see only in murky visions of memories I cannot bleach from my mind.
Trauma lives in us like a cancer. It lives in our bodies, forcing us to live in our heads. We become strangers to our own needs. The trap is insidious. We travel further and further away from who we are, until we look back and realise we are lost to our own existence and there is no map, no light, no trail of crumbs to guide us home. No solace. It is too late. We are alone but for that dark matter, our only companion.